When Your Role DiSappears, So Does the Story You Told Yourself
Navigating the quiet grief of layoff and rediscovering who you are
The Hidden Struggle
There’s a part of career disruption we rarely talk about.
It’s not the scramble to update our résumé. It’s not the LinkedIn networking surge.
It’s that quiet moment — maybe days after the layoff — when we look in the mirror and feel… unrecognizable.
Not because we’ve changed on the outside.
But because the story we told ourselves about who we are just broke.
And no one prepared us for that.
The Deeper Truth
In a world where job titles double as identities, losing work can feel like losing a part of your soul.
This is especially true if you’re someone who poured meaning, routine, pride, and even purpose into your role.
A layoff isn’t just a disruption in income — it is a disruption of narrative.
It interrupts the “I’m someone who…” story many of us unconsciously lean on to move through the world.
“I’m a leader.”
“I’m a high performer.”
“I’m someone people rely on.”
When that identity suddenly falls away — especially through no fault of our own — the result isn’t just confusion. It’s grief.
And many times we don’t realize this is what we’re feeling.
A Reflection Tool
If any of this resonates, pause for a moment and try this …
Ask yourself these three gentle questions:
What part of me felt most connected to that role?
What core values or strengths did it allow me to express?
Are those parts of me gone — or do they simply need new language now?
This isn't about toxic positivity or "reframing" your pain away.
It’s about realizing that your role may have been the container — but you were always the source.
Your clarity. Your empathy. Your leadership. Your ingenuity.
Those didn’t vanish when your email access did.
An Invitation to Reconnect
If you’re in that liminal space — the one where your future feels fuzzy and your confidence feels shaky — you’re not broken. You’re in the middle of rewriting.
That’s why we created The Resilience Room — a group coaching experience designed to help you reconnect to your core, find language for this in-between moment, and build a future that doesn’t just look good on paper — but feels like you.
You can learn more about it at: https://wayfoundhq.com/signature-services#resilienceroom
And even if all you do today is pause, breathe, and say, “My story isn’t over — it’s just turning the page,” — that is enough.
You're still you.
Even now.
Especially now.
About the Author
Stephanie McFarlane is a Career Resilience Coach, I/O Psychology Practitioner, and the founder of Wayfound — a coaching and development practice that helps individuals and organizations navigate career reinvention, identity shifts, and the emotional challenges of change. With a warm, psychology-informed approach, she supports people in rediscovering clarity, confidence, and wholeness — even when the path ahead feels uncertain.
If you’re navigating a transition and want thoughtful support, you can explore coaching services at www.wayfoundhq.com.